Waxing Lyrical

Life is unfair. If God was a women we would have been created with hairless bodies (how come only that breed of cat like Dr Evils got all those genes?). But alas every month in the name of the bikini bottom and mono brow we get waxed, plucked and tweezed to shift, shape and remove what mother nature gives back. However the world of waxing is one shrouded in some mystery… so to start the ball rolling we sat down with Nicky Shore of Off Wax and Brow Bar to find out her 5 commandments of waxing.

1. Thou shalt feel the fear and do it anyway
OK , so you are in need of a wax (the battle between your the new Bond Girl-esque bikini and your bikini line is now of epic proportions), but you are terrified. You haven’t slept for days suffering nightmares of some Helga-like figure taking sordid pleasure out of having you exposed to the mercy of her waxing torture chamber.

Trust me, if I could have a chocolate for every time we hear ‘wow that was waaaay better than I thought it would be’ then I would be one generously proportioned girl.

I blame movie scenes like 40 Year Old Virgin (remember the chest wax scene?) for giving waxing a bad rap. So to dispel those myths… no, you don’t have to get into all sorts of weird positions, no it doesn’t hurt more than childbirth, yes, it is never as bad as you think and yes, we do actually enjoy our job.

A couple of quick tips that help first timers is to trim your hair to about 2 cm or less but leave enough for the wax to adhere to – any longer will make it more painful. If you are nervous about pain, pop a panadol about 30 minutes beforehand, but honestly, coming to see a professional sure won’t be as painful as sitting at home saying ‘no you go first’ to your girlfriend as you do your DIY.

2. Thou shalt not Wax under the influence
Whilst sculling a couple vodka cruisers before coming in to settle your nerves might seem like a good idea at the time, I promise (and yes, I have tested this theory), drinking and waxing does not mix and definitely does not make it less painful. And unlike when you are out at a bar (where you instantly become a better dancer and hilariously funny), that doesn’t translate to the treatment room.

3. Thou shalt not feel the need to remove all their clothes when having a leg wax.
Enough said?

4. Thou shalt not commit brow crimes.
This is a big one, in fact so big, I think I will discuss just one particular crime of the century– the ‘oh my gosh’. This look is characterised by overly thin, hyper-arched brows with the arch over the middle of the eye. This look could have its own blog under the title ‘brows gone bad’. Case in point, Pamela ‘I pluck my brows super thin so they don’t detract from people looking at my boobs’ Anderson. So where should your arch land? A guideline is right over the outer edge of your iris, or at least the highest point where your brows naturally grow, allow me to repeat, naturally.

5. Thou shalt know post wax, how much is too much…
Dear Britany Spears,

Congratulations on your comeback, it is going great.

Now I know you have a penchant for all over hair removal (the scalp thing was a stroke of genius) but please, please, please as part of your ‘new year, new you regime’, could you invest some time with a deportment coach working on how to exit a car without exposing the world to the handiwork of your waxer. Whilst we in the profession appreciate a meticulous wax job, it does make us a tad uncomfortable. Actually a great start would be ensuring knickers are worn at all possible occasions.

P. S . Please feel free to pass this onto Paris and Lindsey as well.. maybe you could share the cost?

OFF Wax and Brow Bar has 3 locations in Auckland, Takapuna, New Market and the brand new Britomart store. For more info or to make a booking please click here!

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